Friendship gift guide: 15+ ideas for meaningful presents for friends
Plus how to use gifting as an intentional ritual together
Gift guide season is in full swing, and a lot of my favorite takes have been about not giving gifts at all, such as Lisa Sibbett’s “I (Still) Don’t Give Gifts to Kids (or Anyone).”
I agree with loosening our compulsion to buy just for the sake of it or because we think we have to. But I also think gifting can be a meaningful ritual between friends, especially when approached with intention rather than just buying something random because it was on sale.1
The fun thing about gifting with friends is that it can look like whatever you want it to! You don’t have to be bound by cultural tradition or familial expectation. The best gift-giving rituals will come out of a mutual understanding of what it adds to your friendship or how you want to use gifting to show your love for each other. If you feel any tension around gift-giving season with a friend (or just want to use it as an opportunity to connect more deeply), I encourage you to have a conversation with them about it.
You could talk about questions like: How do you feel about swapping gifts? If gift-giving is important to us, what about it do we love? Maybe it’s an opportunity to feel more seen by the other by enjoying what they’ve picked out for you, or to treat each other to little luxuries we might not treat ourselves to. The answers to this can inform the type of gift that would be most meaningful to invest in, or could lead you to decide that gift-giving isn’t actually how you want to show your care for each other.
If you want to keep gifting, but it’s causing either of you stress, also discuss how you could ease that stress. For instance, if it’s money-related, maybe you agree on a budget or to only swap handmade or thrifted items. If the holiday season is already too stressful with other obligations, maybe you choose a different time of year for sharing presents.
Even if you’re not ready to have that conversation with a friend, you can still look for ways to give with more intention this year. Here are some gift ideas to consider before you go on a shopping binge next week.
Give something based on the support your friend needs
We love using gift giving as an opportunity to check in on what our friends need. This is less about getting a specific list of items and more about checking in on what feelings they’ve been craving more of in life — “I’ve been feeling not so pretty and pampered lately,” “I’m really hoping to get outside more for my mental health,” “I’d love to have more silly laughter in my day to day,” — and thinking of ways our gift can support that.
For example, one year Sam expressed that she was hoping to recommit to a daily creative practice, so I got her a virtual art journaling class from a creative I admire. Another year, I expressed to Sam that I was feeling stuck in a rut with my beauty products, and she sent me a package of tried-and-true playful makeup. It’s similar to the idea of overcoming a small obstacle with a friend, but with the unique power of gifting.
Give a gift that celebrates your relationship
Obviously, the best gift of all is each other, so think of something that memorializes that, like:
A printed picture of the two of you - This could run the gamut from a simple office store print in a thrifted frame to a more professional print. (One year, Sam mentioned that she wished she had more photos from her wedding to hang, so I got one of us and our partners on the dance floor printed on metal.)
A commissioned friendship portrait - Whether painted, drawn, or illustrated, can you imagine the joy on your friend’s face when they see your relationship commemorated in a work of art? Maybe you capture a favorite memory from the year, or maybe you go with something more imaginary: You and your friend as part of your favorite fandom, integrated into a favorite tarot card, or illustrated as if in your favorite book. You can search places like Etsy for artists selling commissioned portraits, but if you have a favorite artist or illustrator online, reach out and ask if they’d do one!
A custom friendship book - Have a favorite bookish friend? There are so many literary ways to celebrate your friendship. Make a collage scrapbook of memories from your year! Create a zine commemorating all the things you love about your friend! (Or fill out ours!) Write a mini memoir of your friendship (or use a service like Storyworth to collect your stories together)! Get a copy of a book you both love and fill it with marginalia of your innermost thoughts that you want to share with your friend!
Gift something you can do together
This doesn’t have to be a huge, expensive experience, and can definitely apply even if your friendship is long distance! Think options like:
A game to play together - This is a favorite of Sam’s, who has bought me indie board games with the express note that she’d love to play it with me next time we’re together (this tarot-themed one was especially cool), and even ran a circus-themed TTRPG one year to introduce me to her new favorite style of play. You could also opt for a video game that you can stream together from afar, or a subscription to a more casual phone game that you can text about daily.
A subscription for something to stream - Bolster your Sleepy Kitten Club couch time together by investing in a new streaming service, like The Criterion Channel for the movie buff friends or Dropout for the friend you just want to laugh with. As part of your gift, propose a regular night to get together and watch. (This can be done virtually, too — Sam and I have a weekly TV night over video chat going on five years now.)
Something to help you move together - If being active together is more your friendship vibe, or your friend has expressed wanting support in movement goals, you could also consider a subscription to a workout app or class pack for a local studio (if you live nearby), with the express wish that you all do these together. (Dance Church by Kate Wallich has been a favorite of ours to move together and get a little silly from afar, but there are plenty of options out there!)
Craft supplies or a kit - If you and your friend love to make things together or they’ve been coveting something that you think would be fun to try and DIY, get the materials or hunt down a kit to give them! Forego Labubus and make each other Woobles to hang on your bags (or create melty bead bag charms like Sam and I did earlier this year). Peruse the fiber arts kits from Craft Club. Or go to a local reuse store with art supplies and curate your own craft kit. (For NC Triangle natives, Scrap Exchange is my go-to!)
A class to take together - This could be a one-off thing or another opportunity to invest in a subscription for regular events and activities to do together. DrawTogether with WendyMac immediately comes to mind, or you could look into somewhere like Skillshare or Masterclass for a wider variety of options.
A good old-fashioned DIY gift certificate - Think: Those hand-drawn gift certificates you’d give your parents as a kid when you didn’t have money to buy them gifts, but for your friend — you could even make a whole coupon book! One night out where you get to pick the restaurant, a tea party or DIY spa day next time you’re in town: brainstorm whatever you think would bring your friend joy!
Donate in their name
What do you give the friend who has everything? You give to someone else instead.
Think of a cause they’re particularly passionate about or that’s been heavy on their mind (it shouldn’t be hard this year…), and find an organization or local mutual aid related to it to donate to in their name.
For something to actually wrap, maybe you pair this gift with a related sticker, patch, pin, or car magnet so they can be loud and proud about the causes they care about.
Try a favorite things gift swap
This is something my family has done every Christmas since my siblings and I have all become adults, and I think it would translate great to friends or even friend groups.
Instead of buying different things for each person, we each pick one favorite thing from our year to share with everybody. This can be very literal — a favorite book, a new snack you are obsessed with, the cozy socks you can’t stop wearing, a subscription to your favorite Substack — or you can get more creative. One year, my sister’s favorite thing was teaching dance classes, so she did a family tap lesson in our kitchen. One year, my brother loved the movie "The Menu,” so he created a menu of favorite things from the year that we could each choose a few “courses” from.
The best part about it, though, has been getting to share a bit more about our year and what brought us joy with each other.
Slowly collect gifts that make you think of your friend
Another version of this that might be hard for this year, but that you could tee up for future years, is slowly collecting a smorgasboard of gifts over the course of the year that make you think of your friend or that you want to share with your friend: little trinkets or art prints picked up on your travels, the grocery store tea you discovered and can’t stop drinking, a piece of jewelry you saw at a thrift store that just screamed their name.
In your card, share what about each item made you think of your friend. This way, they know they are thought of often and the unique ways you see them — how special!
Gift something handmade
Honestly, this feels like an obvious suggestion, but we’d be remiss not to mention how special a handmade item from a friend can be.
If you’re artistically inclined, this may come naturally to you! Sam and I have gifted many a painting, handmade piece of pottery, or thrifted and ice-dyed clothing item over the years.
But even if the visual arts isn’t your thing, there are options! Consider:
A recipe book - Grab an empty notebook to handwrite your favorite recipes, or hop in Canva and design something a little more professional-looking! Even if you’re pulling the recipes from other places, this is your opportunity to note adjustments you make, and annotate them to make tit feel extra fun and personal to your friend: “Remember when we reheated that pasta after being out a little too late that one night? This was that recipe.” “Every time I cook this, I think about you because…”
A “mixtape” playlist - Make your friend a custom playlist and then print out a QR code or bit.ly link to access it to pop in a fun card, along with a handwritten track list explaining why you chose each song.
A curated experience with accompanying DIY guidebook - One year, Sam gave me a whole incense starter kit, complete with a little digital zine she created to explain the meaning behind the gift, how to use it, and why she chose it for me. You could do the same with something you’ve been learning about this year (e.g., some nice thrifted binoculars and a birdwatching guide).
Gift some friendship-flaunting merch from a small business
If you’ve read through all of this and you’re still itching to shop for a few gifts (or something to include with a DIY gift or donation), check the friendship-centered shirts, mugs, stickers, and totes in our very own merch store!
Sam used her incredible artistic talent to create four delightful designs to help you and your friends flaunt how much you care for each other. Just look at those cute sleepy kittens!!! I need them on a sweatshirt yesterday!!!
Visibility is important for any community trying to shift societal norms, including those of us who want to prioritize our friends. Every item purchased helps us keep publishing this newsletter and shows that our friends can be just as important as family or romantic partners.
We’d love to hear from you! What’s the best gift you ever got from a friend, or a favorite way of approaching gifting with friends? Reply to this email or tell us in the comments!
For more ideas for showing appreciation for your friend, check out:
Sam note: For me, gift exchange is more than a ritual, it’s my love language! As Erin and any of my friends will tell you, though, that doesn’t have to mean expensive or new consumer goods. Erin is a stellar gift-giver, and this guide shines a light on so many of the ways she makes me feel special and seen with presents.