Queer expansiveness, kid friendship wisdom, and cold drinks to share with hot friends
Things to read, watch, and send to your besties this month
In case it’s not obvious, we think about friendship a lot. This also (blessedly) means that our feeds are full of friendship-related content. To share some of these treasures with you, we publish this monthly collection! Think of it as part news update about friendships, part recommendations corner, with a sprinkling of lovely little things to send to your dearest friends to remind them how much they matter.
We’re thinking about: Lessons from queer friendships 🏳️🌈
Like any queer relationships, queer friendships can be a wealth of inspiration for ways we can expand and deepen the roles friends play in our lives. Moving beyond queerness as it relates to sexuality, and towards queer as in “bravely trying something different, being someone different, experiencing relationships that are different…loving people and expressing yourself in a way that’s never been done before,” as
so beautifully put in her essay on queerness in friendships.’s interviews with queer friends about queer friendship had so many beautiful reflections on how friendships can help us build the world we want to live in and give us the support we might not be able to find elsewhere.I’m talking about emotional and physical intimacy that is not driven by sex. Commitment that isn’t driven by a contractual marriage. Dependency that is driven purely by the desire to care for another person you aren’t related to or legally bound to. -
,
“What if we chose the people that nourished us and took care of us and watered our seeds in ways that many times blood family cannot, not because they are incapable of doing so, but more so because they do not understand how to care for us.” - Shayne, interview with Anuska Dhar
“We all know that ‘the world wasn’t made for us’ is a thing that is thrown around a lot, but in the relationships that we build, those are made for us, and we’re the ones making them.” - Declan, interview with Anuska Dhar
Finally, we enjoyed this summary from Dr. Marisa G Franco of
.Forevers of the month: Childhood friendships ✨
I have watched this video an embarrassing number of times because it’s the sweetest, purest description of friendship I’ve ever heard.
In another video, Emi goes on to share how Fankie’s “ness” makes her “ness” better — essentially how our friends can help us grow without losing any of themselves in the process1. I can’t recommend watching this video enough, especially if you need a moment of brightness in your day — and here’s hoping Emi and Frankie stay friends for a lifetime!
Parents, aunties, teachers, or other folks with kids regularly in your life, I’m curious: Is there something the kids in your life have taught you about being a better friend?
Currently consuming: Iced tea with friends ☀️
To me, there is little better in the heat of the summer than sitting on a shaded porch with a friend consuming a sweating glass of something yummy. Recently, I had a friend over who was commenting on how perfect my iced tea was, so I thought I’d share a few faves with for you to share with friends.
Smith Teamaker is my absolute favorite purveyor of iced teas, and this pineapple green tea is my summer go-to. (They used to have a herby blend called “Endless Summer” that was my actual favorite, but it’s been discontinued, so I treat my remaining stock like gold. But this is my petition for them to bring it back!)
My mom’s basically-famous iced tea recipe is just Lipton black iced tea bags with a bunch of fresh mint added, sweetened to your liking. It is the ultimate taste of summer to me.2
I went to a sweaty outdoor yoga class this weekend that served THE MOST refreshing hot pink mocktails afterwards, and I immediately came home and tried to recreate a simplified version that I’ve been sipping on all week. All you need to do is mix one part hibiscus iced tea with one part watermelon juice (store-bought or just blend up watermelon like I did — I strained mine after to remove graininess, but it’s not required!). You could add some sweetener of choice if need be, but I found my watermelon was sweet enough. It’s also good with a pinch of salt added to the glass, margarita style!
In a post last year,
shared her soul-filling experience of sharing tea with a friend, including her friend’s signature recipe that I have been DYING TO TRY (I’m going to be honest, I lost the recipe for a while, but took some time digging it up for this post so now I’m going to make it happen).Yes, I asked Jill what she put in her tea. It’s decaf Earl Gray with honey from those bees over there (seriously, I met them), and a secret ingredient: a scoop of frozen lemonade-from-concentrate, like your grandma put in a plastic pitcher in 1992…Jill told me that she experimented with a whole bunch of iced tea recipes before landing on this one (her signature). You, too, can have this kind of unforgettable day. Gather some people, brew several teas, and try them all. Find the one that lands. And after, you can appreciate that these were just leaves and flowers: bits of nature that died and dried out, and linger. I mean! Many things are difficult. But there is tea.
ICYMI: A Forevers recap!
We’ve started hosting weekly(ish) live conversations on Substack! We’re generally aiming for these to happen Fridays at 10:30 am EST, though our schedule has already been a little flex with summer travel. No worries, we’ll always send out a recording if you don’t catch us live! So far we’ve talked about:
Sam shared her beautiful late-bloomer coming out story and what it taught her about showing up authentically in friendships. HAPPY PRIDE ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
We shared a bunch of ideas for reading with friends near and far, no matter how busy you are!
We gave the deets on our special friendship holiday and taught you how to make your own.
Things we sent each other
Enjoying owls in towels, courtesy of Laura Olin’s newsletter AND
’s, two longtime favorites of both of ours.
Yet again, brainstorming bff couples costumes…and, yes, our Instagram chat background is Moo Deng. Illustration by
.
I went to the Winchester Mystery House on a trip to CA this month and gathered LOTS of inspo for the future Forevers HQ.
Did we miss some great friendship content this month? Leave a comment sharing your treasures!
Sam note: Brb crying. There’s no better feeling than connecting with someone whose “ness” boosts your own, and vice versa.
Sam note: It’s the ultimate taste of summer for me, too. I remember the first time I had it when I came to visit during our college years. Must go make a batch now…
Love the tea recipes! Flavored iced teas are the best and I was just wondering what to do with some watermelon...
This is wonderful! Thank you so much for engaging with my work! xoxo