Write a little love note to your forever friend
Short and sweet and on an actual sheet of paper
When it comes to expressing affection, it’s the thought that counts…or is it?
Sure, having your loved one in mind is a great starting point, but that’s not enough! You have to take action to share your thoughts and feelings before others can be aware of them. When we love someone, it’s up to us to make the effort to follow through and show them.
Society bombards us with ways to declare romantic love, from sappy Valentine’s Day cards to over-the-top proposals. All of this focus on grand romantic gestures makes it easy to take friends for granted, to assume your forever knows exactly how much they mean to you. That’s why explicit and intentional declarations of love matter in friendships, too!
And I don’t mean sending a quick “ilysm” in your text thread or saying “I love you” when you hang up the phone (though those things are great, too). I mean writing multiple sentences plucked from your heart, by hand, on a real piece of paper that you send or give to your friend.
“But Sam,” you might protest, “Confessing love is so awkward and cringey! My friend already knows I love them, I send them Moo Deng memes every day! Also, my handwriting is horrible and I don’t have time to learn calligraphy to write a fancy love letter!”
Well, I have good news for you. Your love doesn’t need to be polished or poetic to be worth writing down and sharing. You don’t need a special occasion or reason. You don’t need perfect cursive or expensive stationery. You just need something to write with and something to write on. It can be a sticky note. The back of your grocery list. Or, yes, a cheesy greeting card (you could even print out one of the vintage ones below!).
Although we often think recipients of a surprise heartfelt letter will feel awkward, that is far from the truth. Research shows we overestimate how awkward the recipient will feel, and underestimate the mood-boosting impact our letter will have. So stop worrying, and have faith that your forever will love your note, simply because you wrote it. When you remove the pressure to write a masterpiece, you can focus on making it from the heart.
And if you do want to get a little more creative with your expression of affection, it’s your last chance to join us tomorrow (Sunday, Feb 9) for a friendship poetry-writing party. We will guide you through plenty of fun activities to think of ways to tell your friend how much you care, and promise it will still feel just as low key as this.
Your Forevers Focus: Write a short and sweet love note
First, pause and think about your friend. Check in with your heart and mind. What does it feel like to hold them in your thoughts?
Then, think about what joys or gifts their presence brings into your life. How does being their friend make you a better person or ease your difficult moments? What do you want or hope to give them in return?1
Now, write it down! Keep it simple and only a few sentences long. This doesn’t have to be flowery or fancy (but if that’s your vibe, by all means, embrace it!!!). Start with a warm greeting or a funny nickname, then acknowledge how they make you feel and your appreciation for those special gifts of their presence.
Now, the most important step. Grab an envelope and stamp and pop it in the mail, or snap a photo and text it to them for instant delivery!2
If you’re feeling stuck try: Write three things you like about them, two things they make you feel, and one wish for their day/week/year.
Celebrating Black friendship!
February is Black History Month, and each week we’ll be highlighting a friendship that inspires us from Black history. If there is a story you think we should feature, please send it our way or drop it in the comments!
Toni Morrison & Angela Davis
Literary powerhouse Toni Morrison and political activist Angela Davis met when Toni reached out to Angela encouraging her to write an autobiography and offering to be her editor, stating in a letter “Working together would be fantastic, I’m sure, and the end result glorious.”
Glorious it was, and well beyond the book. What started as a professional collaboration quickly turned into a lifelong friendship.
In a documentary honoring Toni following her death in 2019, Angela shared:
“For me today, the real significance of that book is the arena it created for an instant friendship that lasted almost half a century. I was her housemate for a while. According to her, she was also my “handler” when we traveled together on tour. We were traveling companions both within and beyond the continental United States. We jogged together in Spring Valley. We hiked in the Virgin Islands. We explored Scandinavia together. She was my big sister, a friend who made me feel that without her friendship, I could never have become who I imagine myself to be today.”
We love how the stories of their lives were woven together in so many different arenas, how doggedly they championed each other (Toni famously wrote a scathing memo against the publisher’s suggested changes to Angela’s book), and Angela’s description of the moment you meet a forever friend:
“I don’t remember formalities when we first met. One moment, I had no idea who Toni Morrison was, and the next moment, it felt like we had been friends forever.”
For a deeper dive into this friendship (and some beautiful thoughts on Black friendships in general, including another idea for expressing gratitude for a friend), check out this incredible podcast episode from Black History Bootcamp (main content starts around 15:50)!
Based on a method for self-love notes shared by Piera Gelardi.
Erin note: But mail is preferred. Don't we all love getting actual mail that is not just spam?
Thanks for inspiring me to share my thoughts & feelings with my Forever Friend! :)