On secret friendship codes & flowers
Show your love with a (free) bouquet
What’s your best friend's favorite flower?
Erin’s is the daffodil (although she loves many different blooms). Cheerful, yellow, early heralds of spring, popping up from the cold dirt like little beams of sunshine. Their delicate scent wafts out, enticing you closer, until you wonder if you could use one as a tea cup like Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Seeing a daffodil always reminds me of Erin. A little secret sign of my bestie, delivered by the universe.1
In our society, flowers are loaded with symbolism. Buying a bouquet can signal anything from ‘Get well soon’ to ‘Sorry for your loss’ (I’m all too familiar with this one lately) to ‘I love you.’ The meanings of specific blossoms are also often rooted in myths and folktales — sometimes in contrasting ways. For example, the daffodil is associated with vanity in the Greek myth of Narcissus, but it is also associated with rebirth and the Easter holiday.
During Victorian times, covert communication with flowers became the norm when Mary Wortley Montagu introduced the Language of Flowers (also known as floriography) in 1717. Using floral dictionaries, Victorians would trade and decode small "talking bouquets” called nosegays or tussie-mussies. These public displays of floral affection allowed women to communicate more directly than they often could with words.
Being in a close friendship can feel like you have your own language, and many childhood friends invent secret codes (please enjoy this delightful example). Why not tell your friend how much they mean to you with some carefully selected flowers?
That’s the question I pondered as bunches of daffodils sprouted up in gardens and supermarket checkout aisles near me. I found myself wishing I lived in the same city as my forever, wanting to swoop by her house with a bouquet of buttery blooms. She’d trim their stems and plonk them into a hand-thrown pottery vase, and I’d explain their meanings while we slice into the wedge of soft French cheese I bought on impulse in the dairy aisle. Alas, I live hundreds of miles away from her…but that got me thinking of how I could send her custom flowers from afar. Of course, my mind turned to art, and thus the doodle bouquet at the top of this newsletter was born!
I’m going to tell you how to draw your very own floral arrangement for your friend. Don’t worry: Just like all of our other creative prompts, you don’t need to be a pro to try this activity, nor will it take much time to do. Grab something to draw with and a few pieces of paper (or your tablet, if you prefer to work digitally), and let’s get these bouquets blooming.
Your Forevers Focus: Send your friend a (free) bouquet
First, think about what you love about your friend. Try to come up with at least three things you want to express to them with these flowers. Maybe you admire their generosity or sense of humor. Peruse a vintage copy of The Language of Flowers (like this one on the Internet Archive) to find out which blooms represent those qualities, or come up with your own flower choices to symbolize those aspects. If flowers aren’t your jam, you could also create a new code with another object. May I suggest the secret language of cheese?2
Next, look up pictures of the flowers you chose (a quick internet search should do the trick) and pick one of the following methods. Print the pictures to make a collage bouquet or use them as references for a quick doodled bouquet (like I did!). Mimic the form of the flowers using simple shapes and lines. Don’t be afraid to trace, or try a no-look drawing where you sketch without looking at the page. Keep it easy and breezy, like flowers should be!
Write a little note to go with your bouquet and explain its meaning. Just a few sentences to make sure the message doesn’t get lost in translation. Here’s what I wrote for Erin:
Thinking of you, Erin. My devoted friend who brings youthful glee into my life. I can’t wait to see all of the ways we grow together this season.
Once that’s finished, send it to your bestie! Even though these blossoms won’t wilt, I recommend sending them ASAP while the sentiments are still fresh in your mind.
If you’re feeling stuck: Try picking one flower to represent your friend and one flower to represent you. Now, draw or collage those two blooms and write your names beside them. Voila!
Erin note: One of my favorite pictures of getting to enjoy daffos with my forever 💛
Erin note: I’m anxiously awaiting my custom charcuterie board…