Robofriends, "friendcations," and a queer-authored alternative to Harry Potter
Things to read, watch, and send to your besties this month
In case it’s not obvious, we think about friendship a lot. This also (blessedly) means that our feeds are full of friendship-related content. To share some of these treasures with you, we publish this monthly collection! Think of it as part news update about friendships, part recommendations corner, with a sprinkling of lovely little things to send to your dearest friends to remind them how much they matter.
We’re thinking about: The rise of robot friends
This article from journalist
made me squirm. In it, he details the various ways social media, in particular Meta, has dismembered relationships rather than strengthened them. Their latest vision? Bot friends taking the place of real friends1.My gut reaction is that this is a horrible idea, a Black Mirror episode playing out in front of our very eyes, and Carr agrees, explaining:
The frictionless friendship offered by chatbots, by removing the need to adapt one’s self to another self, to make room in one’s life for a different being, will be similarly empty. Because our personalized chatbots will be modeled on our own characteristics and desires, as defined by the data the platforms collect on us, they will be versions of ourselves. They’ll do us in different voices. That seems like another recipe for amplifying loneliness, not alleviating it.
Unfortunately, I worry a lot of people will jump at the chance to use this feature. Research from HBR found that therapy/companionship is the #1 reason people use generative AI in 2025 (though I do wish these had been separated into different categories, as I feel they’re pretty distinct).
The very fact that my human friendships (I hope we don’t have to start distinguishing that all the time!) require a certain amount of risk in seeking their intimacy is part of what makes them special — when they opt to be with me, it means I am truly wanted, versus a bot that has no choice. I love that my friends have experiences and perspectives that I don’t, while a bot will just be modeled after what I think I want, giving me less opportunity to discover new things about myself and the world around me. Also, the very human messiness of my friends makes me feel more okay with my own human messiness.
And, yes, my friends will not be able to be constantly present in the way a bot can. But, in moments I’m feeling lonely, I’d rather text a friend something about my day, look through old pictures of friends and mull on memories, or even just (gasp!) have some solo time and work on being a better self-friend.
But, I also recognize that I have a knee-jerk anti-AI sentiment. So, I’m curious: What’s your take? Have you found ways that AI is meaningfully able to fill gaps in your friendships? Or ways to use it that actually strengthen your friendships?
Forevers of the month: Friends who travel together
My friend Carly Romeo is a master planner of “friendcations” aka group friend trips (I was fortunate to go on one nearly a decade ago!), and she’s finally starting to share her secrets. In the below video, she chats with her friend
about the many trips they’ve been on together and advice to others for planning friend trips that allow everyone to bring their whole selves to the table.The two gab about important topics like:
Inviting people outside of your inner circle to take advantage of travel as an opportunity to deepen new relationships
The power of choosing to prioritize traveling with friends, and how people balance that with partners and kids (who are not allowed on Carly’s trips as a rule!)
The importance of learning to communicate with your friends about money and boundaries when traveling together
Whether you’re thinking of planning a trip with just your bestie or a whole horde, you’ll gain some helpful tips from Carly. Give it a watch then start daydreaming about your next trip together!
Currently consuming: Seeking summer reads that center friendship!
In the U.S., the time for long days sitting on the porch or by a body of water is here, yet I’m stuck in a reading rut. So, I’m sourcing ideas for novels that center friendship while also offering vacation reading vibes. (This may also inspire our first Forevers book club, which was y’alls top choice in our recent survey about future hangouts you’d like to see!2)
Here are a few suggestions that Sam and I both enjoyed:
The God of the Woods by Liz Moore — If you’re the summer thriller type, don’t sleep on The God of the Woods. Not only is this a page turner with an ending I did not see something, it features several tight friendships that are key to the story. (Something I feel is pretty rare in the thriller genre!)
Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow by Jessica Townsend — If you’re tired of reading the fantasy books by she-who-must-not-be-named but want a similar vibe, I can’t recommend the Nevermoor series highly enough. Yes, it’s technically middle grade, but the stories are rich while staying delightfully easy to read, the magic is wonderful, and the friendships are magical. Plus, the author is a member of the queer community and committed to supporting LGBTQIA+ rights! The fourth installment is coming out at the end of June, so you’ll have plenty of books to devour your entire summer. The audiobook narrator is wonderful if that’s more your speed!
Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki — This sweet graphic novel shows the ways that romantic relationships can threaten our friendships if we’re not careful, and how the best of friends will hopefully forgive us when that happens. The two friends at the center of the story have a unique shared hobby that I’m obsessed with (you’ll have to read it to find out!).
ICYMI: A Forevers recap!
Friends? In this economy?! Fret not: We wrote about how to hang out with folks without spending all of your money!
We dove into ’s book Modern Friendship, including some actionable takeaways and a topic we’d love to discuss with you all!
We hosted another heart-filling friendship poetry party (this time with CreativeMornings!) and published a mini friendship poetry zine alongside it — featuring poems by
, , and — which you can print out and mail to a friend! (Also, one of the inspirations behind this event, , just published a new love poem for friends!)We curated a summery playlist of songs about friendship!
We did our first live video hangout! (More of these to come!)
We’re still new here and want to build a huge community of forever friends. If you have a few in your life who you think would enjoy our musings on friendship, we’d love it if you’d share it with them!
Things we sent each other
Sam and I once went on a guided foraging walk in Central Park and have since been huge fans of foraging content like @blackforager. She and one of our fave Substackers
have written about the wonder of service berries many times and I have never gotten to try them BUT I THINK THAT’S ABOUT TO CHANGE.
The saga of the Substack intern continues… (“This is my first time being alive” is a favorite catchphrase of ours when we’re having a hard time with something.)
Custom stickers to express my feelings about the end of a rough day, including a grumpy cat from a “(do not want) to do list” Sam got me, our queen Moo Deng, and my niece riding her bike around naked.
The shirt in question, in case you need one too.
The kind of content I’ve come to expect when Sam travels. (Sam note: This is from the Joan Miró foundation in Mallorca.)
Did we miss some great friendship content this month? Leave a comment sharing your treasures!
Sam note: And then reassembled those dismembered pieces into AI frankenfriends. A horror show.
Love that this community is full of fellow bookworms.
Fascinating reflection, and didn’t know there were bot friends. Life is messy … something one of wiser human girlfriends of history reminded me when I was in the pit of despair. I am lucky my friends of history take me as I am, mess and all. Given my age in my 60’s , it feels like our culture taught us , especially women, that life isn’t messy unless you have really screwed up, been less than , or been careless or thoughtless or god forbid, got into conflict with friends and didn’t have the communication skills to explore that safely. This blog is so supportive of deepening real relationships. I don’t want a friend to reflect myself back at me - I want a friend to understand and love other, and learn how to be connected.
Thank you for the shoutout!! Let's spend more time offline with our friends!!