Just do it (with a friend)

The secret to making almost anything in your life better

Research has confirmed what we already knew deep down — doing almost anything is better with friends.

A recently released study analyzed data from the American Time Use Survey to understand how friendship and social connection affect happiness in daily life by looking at information about what tasks participants were doing on a given day, whether they were interacting with anyone else during those tasks, and how happy they were while doing it. The survey covered more than 80 daily activities, from the more traditionally social — like eating, playing games, and watching movies — to mundane daily tasks like commuting, cleaning up around the house, taking care of children, doing food prep, personal organization, and more.

The results? Participants were happier doing nearly every single activity with others than alone.

Laundry and errands were also on the list! (“Laundresses Carrying Back Their Work” by Théophile-Alexandre Steinlen)

“Even when it came to the activities that were most frequently done alone, people still reported significantly more enjoyment when accompanied with others. This suggests that people may be systematically underestimating how happy they will feel when socializing during activities that are typically solitary,” said researchers Dunigan Folk and Elizabeth Dunn.

People in the study could be “together” remotely (such as on the phone), and didn’t even have to be doing the same activity to see the positive effects.

And while the researchers admit that each individual bump in happiness is relatively small, the total effect of doing more activities together could be enormous. “Given that people face countless opportunities to socialize throughout their daily lives, these small effects may accumulate into meaningful differences in overall happiness,“ they said.

But what does practicing this actually look like? We’re here to help you find the nooks and crannies of life just waiting to be filled with friendship time.

Your Forevers focus: Ask yourself, “Could I be doing this with a friend?”

As you go throughout your week, pay attention to every little task you do on your own (maybe even write them all down!) and, for each, consider where you might turn solitary routines into shared activities with friends.

You don’t have to immediately take action. (Though if this inspires you to go ahead and call up a friend while you do the dishes, more power to you!) And the goal isn’t to literally do every activity with friends, since that sounds logistically challenging and a bit exhausting for the introverts in the room.

Instead, we’re hoping this activity helps you notice places where you could easily bake in more friend time. This might look like:

• Planning a weekly call with a friend who also has a long commute.

• Having a standing “groceries and gab” sesh where you meal plan and grocery shop together.

• Making a phone background that reminds you to call your friends, so you are hopefully prompted to do that instead of scrolling when you’re in line for something or otherwise waiting around.¹

  

  I made a quick example on Canva, which you are welcome to right click and save to use! They also have tons of templates you can customize yourself.

• Having a monthly “clean it out” party where you go to each other’s homes and clean out closets (perhaps combined with a little playful dress up?), junk drawers, garages, whatever! Not only will your friend be an impartial party encouraging you to get rid of things, but they also get first dibs on anything you don’t want.

• Looking for chores where your hands aren’t free but your mind is (e.g., washing dishes, folding laundry) and considering calling a friend instead of listening to a podcast or audiobook.

• Getting together once a month to each do a life admin task you’ve been avoiding, and rewarding yourselves with a treat together afterward.

1. Sam is on vacation, or else I would have had her make a gorgeously-illustrated Forevers phone background, but maybe that’s something we can do in the future if you want it? Let us know in the comments!